BABIES

I love babies. I loved being a new mom - every time. The smell, the warmth, the softness, the cry, the way they limply fit into your arms - I love it all. And being a Grams is so wonderful. Holding a new life in my arms, especially when it is the child of one of your own children, is a miracle.

Mary gave birth to Quinn Dalton Ludwig on March 14 just after 6 pm. She chose natural childbirth, and asked Anne to fly out from Maryland to be her dulah. After a long 10 days of on and off labor, she went to the Dr., then to the hospital Monday morning, and started intense labor on her own about noon. Quinn is a beautiful child, and healthy, and loved.

Kim and Cami are both due in June. I love that they have all been sharing and caring for each other. I love that even those that aren't expecting now are excited and willing to help out those that are. I love that these little ones will have aunts and uncles and cousins.

I have been busy starting and not finishing a dozen projects related to these babies. I laugh when I run across a sweater I started crocheting and thought was too big, so started another, etc. Quilts and quilt projects, blankets - and I have three Christmas stockings to knit before Dec! I need a month or so to just finish projects.

So, instead of going to a quilt retreat this spring, I am going to have my own! I am going to take the last week of March while Bob is hiking the Grand Canyon, and I am going to do nothing but finish projects at home. It is spring break for the schools, so no Cubs or GS. I am even going to eat out every night, like I would if I were gone to a retreat. I expect to get lots done. I am going to set a quilt up in the kitchen to work on when I don't want to sew anymore. I am looking forward to this!!

Random

SNOW: I love snow. I love the way it covers the imperfections in landscape, and hides the stuff we were too lazy to pull up, put away, or move last fall. I love the way it dampens the sounds of traffic, but brightens the sounds of birds. I love the way the colors of birds are highlighted against the white backround. I love the feel and squeaky sound of new snow under my shoes. I love the delicate white outlines on branches and fences and wires. I like how you are sometimes surprised by snow falling down the back of your neck, or seeing animal tracks revealing who or what was in your yard during the night. BUT -I don't like to slip on fall on old snow-turned-ice. I don't like melted slushy puddles the seep into your shoes or splash all over your car.

WIND: "They Call the Wind Mariah", "Blowing in the Wind", "She's Like the Wind". etc. All very nice sentiments on gentle, magical breezes. But last night the wind was very scary. Whistling down the canyon, turning over outdoor furniture, rattling doors and windows. And it was dark. I kept my light on and read "Mansfield Park" long after Bob was asleep, to keep from laying there awake listening. Then the power went out, and I had to put down the book. I was too nervous to go hunting for my book light. This morning it is calm and even a little blue sky is showing between puffy white clouds over a new snow. The terror of the night is gone, and the world is beautiful again. Life is like that, too.

BOYS: I have had an ongoing struggle with a couple of my Cubs. They are dear boys, but I just couldn't reach them or get them to cooperate or enjoy anything I was doing. I made some changes. I have INSTANT recognition for every little thing they do - like a sticker on a chart the moment they complete an activity. One of my guys counted up the chart and declared he had more stickers than anyone else. I have tried to have MORE physical stuff to break up the sit down stuff. I use the computer a lot - this week to show them who Shari Lewis was and to talk about puppets - and that gets them up and moving. The result is, they have been better. Finally.

FRIENDS: Bob asked my the other day if I had a friend. That caught me by surprise. I have lots of friends. I work with people in Cubs, Boy Scouting, Girl Scouting and church. I have lots of people that I can turn to if I need help with something or to share common successes and ideas. But...a friend - a hang out with, go to lunch with, come over and play with friend... not really. I have my Mom that I do all that with, and Bob. I don't really have time for more than that. Am I lonely? Only when Bob is gone hiking or such. I think Bob and I are closer now than ever. We have time for each other. We take the time to spend together. After all the years I've been involved in Scouting, he is now, too. And my Mom and I shop or go to Quilt Guild or eat lunch together often. We show each other our latest projects and help each other out. I am so blessed to have her nearby. So, yes. I have two very good friends. Eternally.

WEIGHT: I have lost 38 pounds since Sept.1. I have been loosing SOOO slowly lately that it's hard not to be discouraged. I had hoped to be much further along by now. But I'm not quitting. Too much is at stake. My health being #1, and going on a mission in a few years #2. I need to exercise, but hate it. It's too cold. I don't have time. I don't want to go to pool at 8:30 at night (water aerobics) and come home with wet hair. My knees still hurt too much to walk. Wah wah wah. I know.

CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN: You never stop being a mom. I love that. I thought my kids would outgrow me. I love that they call and ask questions and share things with me. I love that I still have some things they need. I love that they love to come home and visit. And I love being a Grams. Currently there are 6 - Caleb, Hannah, and Miriam (Mike and Anne) in Maryland, Hudson (James and Cami), Lily (Aaron and Mary) and Adaliah (Pete and Rebekah) in Utah. And between March and the end of June - Quinn, (Aaron and Mary)Alice, (Ned and Kim) and baby boy Armstrong (James and Cami). That will make 9! I am blessed.

HIBERNATION

I'm not a bear, or a frog, or a squirrel, or any of the other creatures that hibernate during the winter. In fact, I think I may be more active in the winter than any other time of the year, in terms of responsibilities and meetings, and the holidays, etc.
But there is something alluring about eating yourself silly then curling up somewhere warm and cozy and letting the world pass you by. Sleeping long nights, down comforters, fire place lit, crocheted afghans, warm fuzzy long socks..
So, that being said, I think I could be a mini hibernator. I think I would like to take a day or two each week, curl up with a book or a hand project and ignore the world. No phone, no computer, no meetings, no responsibilities....But. I know what would happen. I would remember the thing that is due day after tomorrow and all the phone calls that need making. I would worry about a child or grandchild who had been ill, and want to call and check. I would wander over to the computer to just see if one of my kids were on, and find someone that I really needed to find out something from. I wouldn't work. To do it I would need to really get away - like the weekend at Bryce Canyon where we stayed at Ruby's Inn, and Bob and kids hiked and snow shoed and I sat in the room and sewed and watched movies until my mind was all pruney. It was wonderful.

On another note, I have lost 32 pounds since the 1st of Sept. Not as much as I had hoped, but not shabby, either. Next goal - 20 by the end of March. That is a modest goal, and if I'm really good, I should be able to do better than that, but we'll see. I fit in my clothes better, but haven't really dropped a size. I can walk at a brisker pace and should start walking for exercise soon. Maybe.

Christmas

I love Christmas! I love decorating the house, including (this year) three trees in the house and two outside. (I must admit, Bob does NOT like lugging 25+ boxes out of the attic for me to empty and send back up, only to have to bring them back down 3 weeks later to repack, and then return to the attic. But he's a good sport) I love the smells of pine and cinnamon. I love to wrap presents. I love to have people over. I love to cook a big meal and watch people enjoy it. I love to watch my children and their spouses and children play and visit and have fun together. I love singing in the Messiah, which we have done almost every year since we moved here, plus several times in years before that in other places. I love directing the choir and learning Christmas music. I love telling the Christmas story to Primary children. I love helping Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts make presents to take home. I love the snow! So glad I live in Utah where Christmas can be white.

This year was especially enjoyable. We celebrated the weekend before, so the kids could have real Christmas with their own families or in-laws. Most of the kids came down Saturday night. We ate then played games until late - everyone participated. Sunday James and Cami came in time to join the rest of us at church. Our choir sang two numbers, and the Primary sang. Karen and Jeffrey came that afternoon, and we opened presents while dinner finished, then ate. It was such a blessing to be together. We sorely missed Anne, Mike and their three growing kids. I can't wait for February when I get to go see them and spoil them rotten!

There were three little ones here - Hudson, 2, Lilly, 18 mo, and Adaliah, 10 months. AND next year we are adding Mary and Aaron's baby boy in March, Ned and Kim's baby in June, and James and Cami's baby in July. I am so excited! Of course that means I need to knit 3 more Christmas stockings next year!!

I missed not having children old enough to act out the nativity story. I think we can pull it off next year, maybe - at least a short version. We had to end having our grown children do it - although they were willing- the year David put on a long, white yarn beard and a sombrero and declared he was Paco the Sheepherder.

I love my family. I love the Savior, whose birth we celebrate at this time. I love my life and who I am and what I have become and who I am becoming. I love my wonderful Bob, who is my very breath and being. I love what I have to share with others, and that I have the means and time to so. My life has been so blessed.

Out My Window

There are so many things I should be doing right now. I have a house full of Christmas that isn't put up yet. I have a couple of Christmas project unfinished, and one of Mom's actually. But I have a cold and skipped Sacrament meeting yesterday to come home and go back to bed. I feel better, but still ucky. So...
Out my window in the winter....

I was really cross when my neighbors planted two globe willow trees exactly over the fence from my grape vines. I knew they would eventually grow huge and shade them until after noon. I was right. But in the winter they are perfect for watching the birds hang out in the morning, waiting for Bob to put the bird seed out. There are aspens in the yard, and telephone wires. The doves - 20-30 of them some days - wait and watch. Once Bob is inside, they descend. All at once. The flat feeder with sunflower seeds , which comfortably will allow 6-8 birds to eat at once, has 12-15 in three layers! They land on top of each other and work their way down until the ones on the bottom have had enough (meaning enough pushing and wiggling - not enough food) and fly off a ways. Then, back they come and land on top of their friends, like otherwise refined women at a bargain sale.

Then, before long, a flock of pinion jays zoom into the yard and take over. Their noise and brash behavior is more like young men rushing for seats at a rugby match. They dive in and out, pushing the others off the feeders. They hang off the smaller feeders, trying to get what they can of the small seed. They pretty much inhale everything. Occasionally they will get there before the doves. When that happens, the doves must be content with what the small birds drop onto the deck, although they still stop at the platform feeder hoping to find something left behind.

The smaller birds - juncos, house wrens, Cassin's finch, etc- hide in the wild rose bush, where there are still some leaves and rose hips. They patiently wait. When the ruckus is over, they politely take their turns with the seed and thistle.

I think if Bob filled the feeders 3 times a day, they would eat it all every day.

Although it is cold outside, the sky today is blue and white. The sun has dried up the melting snow. The leaves under the fruit trees are wet, matted and molding. The remains of flowering plants, that really should be cut down before the next snow (but probably won't be), look like skeletons. The grass is still green, holding on to the moisture from the last snow. I love the winter.

"This is the day which the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Inside there is bean and ham soup bubbling in the crock pot. The gas fireplace in the kitchen is warm and inviting. If my Christmas was up, it would be perfect. Okay. I guess I better get to it. Thanks for sharing my ramblings.

On Recognition

I won't say I'm not happy about it. It would sound like a lie. It would be a lie. I am very happy about it. To have someone value what you have done and are doing is a great thing. But, I also have to say that I didn't do what I do because I thought some day I would be recognized in some wonderful way for it. I did it because I love doing it!
Natalie Portman said "Awards are so unnecessary, because I think we get so much out of our work just by doing it. The work is a reward in itself." I agree with her.

Friday, Oct 22 I received a beautiful medal as one of 12 "Influential Women in Scouting" for the Utah National Parks Council. It was the first time they had made this kind of recognition, and are planning to continue recognizing women who have made a difference in their sphere of influence in Scouting. I was kind of embarrassed, but very happy. Most of my children and their spouses were able to attend. I was also surprised and happy that my bishop, George Richardson, a member of the Stake Presidency, Mike Barclay, and member of the high counsel, Steve Johnson had come to support me and Arla Otten, who also is in our stake and was recognized.

The other item concerns an article published in the Scouting Magazine that is sent to all registered adults in Scouting. In August or July, I responded to a question about discipline in meetings, and mentioned that I had been a den leader for 25 years. I got a phone call from the magazine. The editor of "What I Have Learned" section talked to me, and said "You know it is unusual for someone to be a den leader for 25 years!" He asked if I would be willing to be interviewed and spotlighted in a future Scouting Magazine. We exchanged email questions and answers. They sent a photographer from Park City to take pictures, and last Saturday I got an advance copy of the magazine - and the article was there. Monday, it came in the mail to everyone. www.scoutingmagazine.org/issues/1011/d-wivl.html

I was glad they chose the picture of me and the kids. There were some nice ones taken of just me, but - well, it's all about the kids.

That being said, sometimes working with kids is hard. No doubt about it. Some days they don't come. Some days they are hyper and can't stay focused. Some days they are moody and uncooperative. Some days they are so eager to learn and love everything you do. I can't tell you why it is different because there are as many reasons as there are kids. But I do know that the boy or girl that is having trouble, needs Scouting the most. They may be the hardest to work with, but they are worth the effort. I wouldn't have it any other way. It keeps me stretching and trying to find ways to involve and motivate them. It makes me try harder. It makes me be more organized. It makes me a better leader, and a better, more patient person.

Autumn Musings

IT'S FALL. Finally, the air as turned chilly and the leaves are turning color. The lawn is about through growing, and I got my sweaters out. Fall has it's own joys and beauties, but for me it means getting ready for the holidays and birthday seasons to come.
We had our Fall Family Birthday party on Saturday. It was fun to have everyone (except Anne and her family) together - watching the grandkids play and siblings sharing news and stories and getting to know each other better as adults.
Thoughts now turn to Thanksgiving and gratitude, Christmas and giving, our anniversary and our family. I am so blessed. Everything I could have dreamed of for my life has come to pass - and more. True and lasting love and affection, support and comfort from my good husband. Seven children who continually amaze me and impress me with what they are doing, learning, becoming. They are so wonderful. I won't pretend that there weren't days that I wondered if they would survive their youth - but they all have - and with flying colors. I love to watch the way those with children are raising them - with love and encouragement and joy at every milestone. I love that they, all but the youngest ones, know me and like to talk to me on the phone or come visit. Lily spent a week with us while Mary was recuperating from appendix surgery and Aaron was sick. She knows and loves us and is comfortable here with us. As these young ones get older they, too, can spend time at "Camp Grandma" . I love being a Grams.
As the air gets colder and the days turn gray and brown, my heart gets warmer, and glows with the light of love.